We’re on a group ride in the valley of 1000 hills and I’m riding along the dead flat road, minding my own business, taking in the scenery around me and then all of a sudden – and I really mean all of a sudden – my handlebars and Binki Bonker’s handlebars are interweaving like koeksisters and I’m sliding and bouncing all over the ground watching my bike do the same thing two metres in front of me. It.all.happened.in.slow.motion.

I wouldn’t have thought my man was to blame had he not turned around quite so suddenly and said “Sorrrrry” with a guilty grin on his face. He felt real bad. He was bunny hopping into puddles and splashing Tania and Bink Bonker and somehow his actions set in place a chain reaction. The events unfolded like so: Tania sees imminent drenching of muddy water and swerves across into Binki, Binki swerves into me and I go break dancing on the gravel.


The suspect


The evidence.


A close-up of the evidence. Ewww!

This wasn’t sore but just thought I’d show you the evidence whilst you’re having breakfast. Hee Hee! Aren’t you glad I spared you the photo of my grazed buttocks? Yes, I see you nodding.


Emla – this is an anaesthetic cream which is great because you can clean the grit and dirt out of the wound without pulling your husbands chest hairs out.


This was the sore part: not the actual injection but the bruised feeling in my arm the next day. Apparently, it’s a side effect of Tetanus injections so if you ever get one, don’t feel alarmed if your arm feels as though you’ve just been shot with a paint ball gun the following day. Also, if you plan on doing the Tetanus shot yourself, remember that it’s a subcutaneous injection so you need to pinch the skin slightly and aim the needle at a slight angle. You don’t want the needle to go into the muscle.

If you haven’t had a Tetanus shot in the last 5 years or if you’re a paddler or mountain biker or someone that just likes to roll around in mud puddles or thorn bushes for the hek of it (psychos), it’s recommended that you get a jab.

As my man says, we’re all in between falls – mine are just more frequent than his.

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