Phuthu Stay Phut, Don't go!

So last week I made another visit to Dis-Chem – the Makro of drugs and ointments. The shop has everything, it’s amazing. I’m not too sure about aisle 3 though, it’s got a whole lot of imported Chinese gifts and I can’t figure out how that relates to medicine or health or beauty but anyway, that’s trivial, moving on….

That Epic Kit List of 79 items freaked me out the other day. Do you really need all that stuff? Even freakier, I had a list of things that didn’t even appear on the list that we received from the anonymous, Mr-Uber-Organised-Epic-Kit-List-Man. So I had to go and buy more stuff.

Dis-Chem is like temptation sweet alley at Woolies, you just can’t help putting stuff into your basket that you don’t need.  Even though I was armed with my list, I started adding other stuff.

I made a big mistake by visiting the plasters and bandage section – I got the basic plasters and a knee strap which were on the list but then I saw these incredible “hot patches” for sore muscles which we needed, obviously. Whipped no less than 6 in the basket. Then I saw the “hot and cold patches” as well as the butterfly plasters, the sterile swabs, the stretchy plasters, the plaster tape, the non-sticky bandage, the sticky bandage, hydrofilm plasters and the cutest Garfield plasters ever. Got them all. Oops.

My list included items like washing powder and fabric softener, toner, hand cream and tampons – girl stuff. I even thought about the possible consequences to the nether regions after riding for several days. A bladder infection or thrush perhaps? Eeeek. This is a real possibility for lady riders because of the lack of blood flow and air down there. Delightful I know. Our darling petals are going to be so oxygen starved that they’re going to think they’re making an Everest Summit attempt.

Anyway, I realised I didn’t have any thrush cream in my stash of emergency medicine so I needed to get it from Dis-Chem. I was dreading asking for it. Dreading. Why can’t they just keep it on the shelves with the other stuff, like the Shampoo and Conditioner and the Vaseline? Why?

I was wondering aimlessly up and down the aisles, putting random products in my basket, knowing quite clearly that I was avoiding the whole asking thing but then I just thought screw it, they’ve heard it all before.

I checked that the coast was clear – I walked down the aisle with a confident go-get-em-attitude and got about one metre from the pharmacists counter when two other people simultaneously appeared. Shukakka! I stopped in my tracks as if I was playing musical statues at a kid’s party and the music had just stopped. I was trying not to look so stiff in my frozen stance so I defrosted the whole look and pretended to be intrigued by a range of geriatric pill boxes and dispensers in front of the counter.  I opened them, closed them, looked at the price, picked up the different models and almost convinced myself that I was going to purchase one!

And then I did as much of a peripheral view as I could without looking obvious and hooray, it was clear.  I plucked up the courage and asked with a confident voice if she had anything for THRUSH? Why the fcuk did I say that so loud?

The pharmacist asked two questions: “Is it for you?

No it’s for Casper the friendly frikkin ghost, who the hell do you think its for?

“Well, uh, yes, but its not for me now, it’s for me later, maybe if I’ll need it, I’m doing a race and uhm, its for an emergency, to put in my medical kit, if I need it.” I responded with the most ridiculous sentence construction ever.

Question 2: “Would you like capsules or applicators.”

Don’t ask me questions just give me the best one demmit!

Why can’t this just be simple like I say, “I have thrush” and then the pharmacist says “here you go, use this” and then I say, “thanks bye”.

I got the cream.

Eventually.

Halleluja.

And everything else that was on the list.

…And everything else that wasn’t on the list.

P.S  Hungry Bum is my team name for Epic – read more about it here.

MARCH CHALLENGE:
Clean out your cupboards.

It’s easy to get all warm and fuzzy when we watch Oprah give away houses, cars and who knows what else – we talk about it, cry about it and get all emotional about it. But the truth is that we don’t need millions or even thousands to help others – it works on the same principle as the starfish story (see the story below).

We’d like to call South Africans to action – let’s start walking the walk! We will create 12 challenges a year and you can respond – as easy as that! We will, of course, participate in our own challenge – that’s just fair. The challenges will mostly be charity or cause-related but every now and then we’ll throw in a do-something-wild-in-Africa challenge, like bungee jumping, sky diving  or river rafting (I have a sneaky suspicion that I will be “otherwise engaged” when my co-workers have to do something this insane!).

The challenge for March
Clean out your cupboards (old clothes, shoes, handbags, blankets, food etc.) and give it to someone in need or alternatively take it to the Salvation Army, a hospice shop or any church to give out as they think best. 

Diary: My March Challenge
We discussed this challenge during last week and my opportunity came just a few days later – totally unplanned!  I heard that my domestic help took in three orphans (while they can hardly look after themselves – they are now eight in one little house!) and although I don’t have millions, I have a bit more than they do, which means I can help in a small way. When the “warm and fuzzy” feeling hit me, I recognised it for what it was and decided to act on it before I lose it. I stormed into Checkers with determination and grabbed a trolley while my eyes were frantically scanning the place for stuff to buy – okay, it was maybe not this wild but I was excited, okay.  I had to constantly remind myself of my very tight budget and my husband’s “Big Eye” – it was so easy to get totally carried away.

“I can do this every day”, I thought by myself.  I bought some general items like phuthu, rice, tea, veggies, soya, sugar etc. and added some luxuries that they would probably never be able to afford. The best part was a few yummy items for the kids (suckers, biscuits etc.).  At home I threw out some old clothes and goods that I don’t really use anymore and, after what seemed like a millennium, screamed “Happyness, come here, sisi”.

Her face alone made this so worth it – she accepted it with “Eish, it’s like Christmas in March!”

PS. I’ve also asked friends and family to contribute whatever they can.

Reference: The starfish story
There once was a man walking down a beach that was completely covered in starfish that had washed ashore. They were absolutely everywhere that the old man looked. As he walked along, he bent down and picked up one starfish at a time and deliberately tossed it back into the sea.

A young boy watched curiously as the old man continued tossing starfish one at a time into the sea. He approached the old man and asked him “What in the world are you doing? Why are you even bothering? You will never get them all back into the sea! There are so many it just doesn’t even matter!”

The old man looked at the young boy, bent down, and picked up another starfish. With purpose he showed the boy the starfish and said, “Young man, to this one starfish it matters!” And with that he flung the starfish back into the sea.

By: Elzet Pedersen
We can make a difference – one family at a time.